Southern Vampires meets Siobhan Quinn
by shanejayell
Summary: Pam meets Quinn. Mayhem follows. Femslash.


Disclaimer: I own none of Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampires characters nor do I own any of Caitlin Kiernan's characters. This is intended purely as parody, please do not sue me as I'm broke anyway.

Southern Vampires meets Siobhan Quinn

The blonde, busty young woman got out of her car, Sookie Stackhouse wincing at the mental cries of alarm from the humans in Fangtasia. The telepath couldn't sort out the messages, there was too much panic, but she could block it out. Mostly.

Eric Northman was waiting for her, his expression... kind of odd, really. He normally managed a sultry sort of smouldering attraction, but now he looked kind of stunned. Still cute though. "Sorry to call you here," he smiled wryly, "but it's a unusual situation."

"Oh," Sookie blinked as she saw the inside of Fangtasia. The place was wrecked. Tables turned over, TrueBlood spilled, curtains ripped, scattered clothes...

Scattered clothes?

There was a massive crash, and the sound of glass breaking coming from the back room. Every slam made the men and women cringe, but there also seemed to be some fascination too.

"What's going on?" she had to ask Eric as the sound of something else broke off in the distance. "Is that a fight?" she wondered.

"Not exactly... uhm," Eric looked slightly pained. "It's Pam... actually."

Sookie blinked, "She's busting up your place? Why?"

"It's... well, complicated," Eric sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Could you do me a favor and go take a look?"

"Why me?" Sookie had to ask.

"Because Pam likes you and won't hurt you," Eric paused, clearly mentally adding 'I think.' Aloud he added, "Please, as a favour for me?"

Sookie tried to resist, but Eric making puppy dog eyes was hard to stand against. She carefully made her way across the wrecked bar, noting with some annoyance there were STILL human guests hanging around. Maybe they thought vampire mayhem comes with the show?

Hesitating in front of the storage room door, Sookie steeled herself. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door a bit and peeked inside. There was spilled liquor and broken bottles, as well as food. Pam was wrestling with a taller, gangly women with red hair.

Wait a minute... that wasn't wrestling.

"Eep," Sookie closed the door, blushing furiously. She stalked over to Eric, "They're not fighting..."

Eric nodded sheepishly, "They're STILL at it?"

"Oh, yeah," Sookie agreed, still blushing. "Uhm, is this usual for Pam...?"

"Well, Pam started trying to throw her out," Eric explained, "but then... uhm... things happened."

"Things happened." Sookie repeated flatly. She ran a hand over her face, "God."

Eric looked at her sympathetically, "That bad?"

"I think just looking in I got an education...," Sookie muttered. She looked up at him, "What do you want to do?"

"Close up til dawn and HOPE they're done by then," Eric decided with a sigh. Under his breath he grumbled, "I am SO taking the damages out of Pam's pay..."

Sookie helped clean as the thumping and crashing continued, until FINALLY the noise stopped. A few minutes later Pam emerged, completely unabashed either by her nudity or the scratches and cuts that covered her.

The young lady beside her was actually kind of bashful looking, the mostly dressed redhead leaning against her a bit. She looked around, taking in the damage and rather sheepishly said, "Sorry about the damage."

"Don't worry, I'll cover it," Pam said languidly.

Sookie was rather stunned at how mellow Pam was. Apparently the sex had been VERY good.

"You all right?" Eric had to ask.

"Ooh yeah," Pam grinned.

"I'm really sorry," the young woman added, "My name is Quinn. Actually came out here to talk to Mr. Northman, I was hoping for some advice on being a Vampire. But I guess Pam assumed I was up to no good, I objected and... things kinda got out of control."

As Sookie took in the young woman she realized she was... if not young, at least not very old. She might have been turned in her teens, and didn't have that... old look vampires got in their eyes. That, and she was amusingly bashful.

"Is it okay if I take her home with me?" Pam asked brightly. "She needs a shower, we can both clean up and... maybe round two."

"Round two?" Quinn squeaked.

To be continued...?

Notes: Siobhan Quinn is the star of two recent novels, Blood Oranges and Red Delicious, both by Caitlin Kiernan. They are kinda the 'Anti-True Blood' in that vampires are NOT depicted as sexy or even nice. They're kinda sharks with legs. Quinn is also not very nice, but I'm writing her as a young, inexperienced vamp, which I think is in character.


End file.
